the great steamfuck

[psykro]

among other things i used to be, i was once a hardcore cs 1.5 player. that's pre-mainstream label counterstrike, when it was just another halflife mod. the rose-coloured grass is greener in the rearview mirror and all that, but geez i miss those days. we had a community, man! anyway, along came this clusterfuck called steam, i don't even know what it's meant to be- a game manager? or some bullshit, but when it came along a lot of us saw this behemoth buttfucker looming over our once-independent gaming lives. anyway, its 10 years or so later and i just thought i would relate a little tidbit of my most recent, and indeed, ongoing little chapter of what i affectionately call The Great Steamfuck...
so there i am, one of the suckers keeping the economy going in a pre-christmas shopping orgy. hmmmm, maybe i'll get my boy a new pc game i muse to myself. [note: i live in the middle of nowhere with no broadband so hard copy is my only option] stroll into the shop, browse browse browse ahh! haven't played or even heard of this, it's over a year old so my fast-obselitising pc should cope with it, from the makers of doom and quake [gasp] good memories rush in SOLD. a game called rage. how apt, i would soon remark to myself.
so 300km and a waiting period for calendar occasions to roll around later, my lad and i are eagerly ripping off the cellophane. like most modern games one must have an internet connection to install, aah that ol chestnut, yes we can get around that with someone else's netconn. oh look, steam has somehow dropped its bundle again: "there is no steam login info stored on this computer", and hey dialup doesn't seem to be doing anything about fixing that. ok , packing up the desktop pc and its sundries and carying it over to the landlord's house to use his satellite netconn to kick steam up the arse and "be online" to install the fuking game we only want to play offline anyway.
ok, all set up here we go, insert disk 1, choose install from disk option, 4 hours to wait ookkaaayyyy, heres an old cs1.5 mate to chat with on the steamphone la de dah WHAT THE FUCK rage downloading at 654 kbps. oh, and guess what steam has decided to update skyrim while u werent looking dickwad. so, ive now capped out my landlord's satellite not good. ok, 4 hrs later after having disconnected from net to force disk install, it says we are done. play rage we press button... "rage is not ready to play in offline mode" that would be because it has started a 1gig update on steam while we were online to install the fuking thing. ditto skyrim.
so now, here i sit, 250 km from home, at my sisters house, dling updates for games i will never play online anyway cos they are managed by a fucking piece of shit called steam that assumes everyone has an unlimited optic fibre netconn. or as i said to my old friend which is probably a lot more concise- it went like this:
hey dickhead[me] buy this game, take it home 300 km, install it. oh but first u need to be oline cocksucker, oh yeah, after uve capped out your fuking landlords satnet cos we tried to download the 21 gig fucking game and we also decided to "update" skyrim while u werent paying attention, um you will also notice that we have started a 1gig update for the game you just bought and until that is completed you cant play it in offline mode ... so yeah, now you can spend anothewr $60 on gas to drive another 500km round trip to ur sisters house and download all this shit

dammit, too many interruptions lost my train of thought in there. yeah its a bit of a big whinge but sheee-it this is just fuckin ridiculous.

[piotr]

That's one big f**k in the arse.

I go all the way back to Apple II and Commodore 64 so I view these current "mega-games" (and their supporting infrastructure) with a combination of awe and dread. I think that Steam shit is an update management/Digital Rights Management (DRM)/shopping cart/peer communication/content sharing bloatware application. It installed once upon a time on my crappy PC when I installed a game I can no longer remember. I vaguely recall it consuming a shitload of hard-disk space. It looked like the Lotus Notes of the gaming world, i.e. a huge piece of shit with a miscellany of functions.

I fear that as time passes dial-up will only get more painful for you. Games will only get bigger as will the active components of web pages.

[xeo]

Roflmao.

Steam is a dream compared to what installing games used to be like.

Time to upgrade your internet connection.

Skyrim is not a small game.

Game updates are GOOD.

[Aedalas]

So Steam is a piece of shit because your borrowed internet connection sucks? Dude, Steam is fucking great, pay for a real connection like everybody else.

[dicey]

Steam is not fucking great it is just bullshit and money making.
I remember the good old days when you didn't need a connection to the internet to play computer games. You could play online of course but you did not need to BE online to just go for the sinlge player. Buy a game plug the cd in, install t really and voila! You could play

I never used steam nor Origin or any other registration. I just do not play modern computer games any longer or let's say not really. I think the best thing to show those people you do not agree with something is not using it. I hate people complaining all the way like "Oh this is bullshit and why the hell do you that? Oh okay I am going to use it anway...". They use it anyway so either stop using it and then complain or not use it at all and show them you do not agree on what they do there.

Easy going

Oh and Aedalas... in some places you just CAN'T get a decent connection. MY parents live in a town where they have a maximum download speed of 45kb/s called DSL light and you can get NOTHING else there or let's say not yet.

[Aedalas]

Steam is not fucking great it is just bullshit and money making.

I never used steam

...

[dicey]

Get Real mate!

Remember the old days like Baldurs Gate 1 where you had a REAL handbook with lots of content and it was in a larger format then the other ones nowadays. Also take a look at the content of the box and with how much attention to detail it was made. Nowadays those things cost to much money so you have to download the games but they cost the same

This is the reality it is about the money today and not about content or great plot and character developement any longer.
Sorry mate

[Aedalas]

It was always about the money, nobody makes games for free. Have you seen the bundles? Games are cheaper than ever now, I'm not sure I've ever seen a day were something wasn't on sale on Steam. How many discs have you ever got with a pay what you want deal? Darksiders, SR3, Warhammer, Metro 2033, Red Faction, and a few more for 6 bucks.... Yeah.

Also, you can't ctrl+f a manual, meh. I guess if you liked those 8 bit games then Steam wouldn't offer much, but I'd rather my money go to a game than a book about the game. Also, Baldur's Gate was released in 1998, you really expect the prices to be the same?

[xeo]

Whether or not you think Gabe Newell is a fat piece of shit irrelevant. The fact is he has created an awesome online game delivery platform with a rock solid friend network for casual and serious gamers. No more storing DVDs and CDs or CD keys... Steam manages it all for you very securely.

Yes, it is always about the money, but there are sales on Steam where you can buy games for $1-$5 that were originally $60. You can't really beat that.

If you lose your hard drive and get a new computer you can download your games and get all your saves and settings back with their Steam Cloud synchronization.

double-facepalm1.jpg

[dicey]

Forget it mate you just don't understand what I am trying to say or maybe you just don't want to understand it

For me those booklets are important and have probably never seen the one from Baldurs Gate 1 nor read the comments from Volo and Elminster in it. All those backround information in there before starting the game just got you more into the story. But it seems we have a different taste my friend nevermind

Oh an just admit that you were wrong with your comment on the decent internet connection
Yes you are right, game bundles have never been that cheap! Sorry that I forgot about that mate.


Yes I may be to old school and I love storing CD's and booklets

[rai]

Ah, I remember the '90's playing myst island, and that dinosaur with jet packs and guns that came bundled on my Imac /b 10,000 flushes blue.
and other games, you put the cd into the machine, and loaded the game, then you could settle down for the winter indoors and play all night,
I don't buy games anymore, because the companies want you to "join" and I am very reluctant to "join" anything on the internet.
thats why I don't even post photos, it requires joining.

games played online are not for me. the internet cannot be trusted. its a big datamine for all the wrong people to try to use me.
Im considering going off line and off the phone. I used to live that way. I liked it.
internet is a big PITA

[Aedalas]

For me those booklets are important and have probably never seen the one from Baldurs Gate 1 nor read the comments from Volo and Elminster in it.

Ahh, I see. Here in the US we call them "hipsters."

Oh an just admit that you were wrong with your comment on the decent internet connection

I see, so game game publishers should cater to the dozen or so people living in third world countries with dialup. Gotchya.

Whether or not you think Gabe Newell is a fat piece of shit irrelevant.

One of those things are undeniable. I do like GabeN though, so don't take that the wrong way.

And Rai, do those hats come prefabricated or would I need to buy my own tin foil and make one? Do you know where I could find a tutorial that doesn't require me signing up to read it?

[xeo]

Ah, I remember the '90's playing myst island, and that dinosaur with jet packs and guns that came bundled on my Imac /b 10,000 flushes blue.
and other games, you put the cd into the machine, and loaded the game, then you could settle down for the winter indoors and play all night,
I don't buy games anymore, because the companies want you to "join" and I am very reluctant to "join" anything on the internet.
thats why I don't even post photos, it requires joining.

games played online are not for me. the internet cannot be trusted. its a big datamine for all the wrong people to try to use me.
Im considering going off line and off the phone. I used to live that way. I liked it.
internet is a big PITA

Facebook and other such big media moguls cannot be trusted. Google also cannot be trusted. All of that side, if you browse the internet anonymously, using fake or disposable email addresses and do not create accounts on websites the internet is far from a PITA. It is access to unlimited amounts of data and resources. You can't really deny that.

As far as online games go, the big MMOs mine data. They mine playtime, playing habits and other such metrics for their own purpose. None of this information is a personal intrusion. At the ultimate worst they will know how long you've played the game and what your playing schedule is. Big deal.

Some games played on smart phones and facebook ARE definitely tracked to try and hit you with ads and build a target audience database.... THOSE are the culprits. Farmville and other mindless population suppressants are evil. Smart phones and tablets are headed into very unholy territory... if they are not already there.

I guess what I'm trying to say is... "don't throw the baby out with the bathwater". You want to send physical mail with a check to pay your bills? I didn't think so. Stand inline at the DMV to renew your registration when you can do it online? Suit yourself.

[psykro]

hahaha i think i mentioned that good internet is not available where i live, u think i would be going through this shit if i could just upgrade my netconn?
what is with game developers releasing all this buggy crap that needs massive patching [sorry, "updates"] anyway? it's not good enough.
if it weren't for my son i would have canned the whole operation, but when a dad says he will do something, he does it.
i did admit it was a giant whinge.
steamcloud sounds like a good idea, but my whole point is that not everyone has access to fast cheap internet, which is why i bought a hard copy in the first place.
u love steam? good on ya. i won't try to change your mind or offer instruction whilst having made no effort to ascertain your particular circumstances : ]
actually 3rd world countries have better internet than regional australia, strange but true.

[Riyame]

Alright guys, keep it calm. We dont want things to devolve into a flame war.

For me those booklets are important and have probably never seen the one from Baldurs Gate 1 nor read the comments from Volo and Elminster in it.

Ahh, I see. Here in the US we call them "hipsters."

Oh an just admit that you were wrong with your comment on the decent internet connection

I see, so game game publishers should cater to the dozen or so people living in third world countries with dialup. Gotchya.

And Rai, do those hats come prefabricated or would I need to buy my own tin foil and make one? Do you know where I could find a tutorial that doesn't require me signing up to read it?

Just because a lot of use like to have the booklets and other things that can make a game great does not make us hipsters. There is a reason they make and sell those big collector editions of games with all the extra stuff in them.

Not everybody with a poor internet connection is in a 3rd world country. In the evenings my connection can slip BELOW dialup speeds because the ISP will not spend the money to upgrade lines because they are the only ISP here so people dont have a choice.