Gift for a nubee !

[andrex66it]

ok, hope this is more like a joke:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off! – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

[nozza36]

Imshatten and Darkhorse are neck and neck !

[MrPharmer2012]

Recent Joke heard from my Uncle Bruce:

So this dude walks into a restroom in an airport and goes up to a urinal. A man with no arms comes up next to him and says "Hey, can you give me a hand?". Though he feels uncomfortable, he agrees to help. He unzips the man's pants, takes a deep breath, and reaches in and takes out his penis, which he is horrified to discover is all green and moldy. Imagining the bonus he will get come judgment day, he continues to hold the man's moldy unit as he urinates, gives it a shake, and zips it back up in his pants.

"Hey, thanks a lot man." The man says

"No problem. But there is one thing I have to know, what is wrong with your Johnson?"

Then the man pulls his arms out into his sleeves and says "I don't know, but I'm sure as hell ain't gonna touch it!"

[MrPharmer2012]

The Best Person I ever Knew for hearing new jokes was my highschool Electricity teacher, He had something new eveyday, He enjoyed Male chauvinist jokes.
His favorite Jokes He told Several times thru out that year:

1. What do you tell a woman with two black Eyes? nothing You allready told her twice

2. How many male chauvinists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None let the bitch cook in the dark.

3. How are women and tornados similar? They both moan like hell when they are coming, and they both take the house when they leave.

4. A female on an airplane fears the airplane is going to crash she jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes her clothes and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man in back stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

[nozza36]

ImSchatten360 you are the winner ,
Darkhorse , you came a close second so i'll find you something too !
PM me a postal address guys and i'll lick a stamp .

[ImSchatten360]

Oh man thanks that is so great! I'll post some pictures and maybe even a video I liked reading all those other jokes as well. Great idea!

[andrex66it]

yeah,I wanna see what I missed.Damn.

[darkhorse]

whoohoo...thanks for a second prize nozza..youre a star mate...pm on its way

[darkhorse]

A great big thanks to nozza...Got a big VIRO padlock and an awesome homemade feeler guage set... Pure lock porn stuff and as promised the pics are below and the lock opened...arrived locked with no key...Tricky fecker to get the tension right and had to bounce the wrench to get it to pop...

[uklockpicker]

wow really nice feeler pick set

Nice gift nozza

[Oldfast]

How very cool of you Nozza!! Darkhorse... welcome home buddy. I was startin' to miss ya (not alot...lol... but a little)

[nozza36]

Aw , shucks guys thankyou for the kind comments !
Anyone in the UK know of a place i can buy feeler stock to make high quality picks ( 0.5 x 15 x 200 mm)