GutterClown wrote:To open your normal house lock, you'll need a tennis ball with a hole cut in it. Make sure the hole is small, because the more air pressure you can get the better.
Place the hole in the ball against the face of the lock, and push as hard and as fast as you can. The door will open.
If it doesn't, try again a little harder.
This seemed like a great idea. So I set out to test the theory. For my first attempt I proceeded as instructed above. I cut out the tennis ball, placed it on the lock and began pushing on the tennis ball in a rhythmic pattern with as much force as I could muster for about 20 minutes. Unfortunately, the lock did not open.
Realizing I must be doing something wrong, I then tried changing the frequency of the depressions. First every second for 60 minutes, then every other second for 60 minutes. These attempts proved fruitless as well.
It then dawned on me that I must not have a decent seal around the lock. I drove to the hardware store and purchased a caulking gun, three types of commercial adhesive, and 3 more tennis balls. Then applied a different sealant to each ball and fixed them to the outside of the three doors to my house. As I stood outside waiting for the adhesive to cure, I realized the fatal flaw in my plan.....I could only push one ball at a time.
So I waited on the porch for my girlfriend to come home and give me a hand. As instructed, she faithfully pressed the tennis ball in a regular rhythm while I ran back and forth from one door to the other between depressions. We were able to keep up this pace for 3 hours and 45 minutes. Pretty good for never having tried the technique before.
As it got dark it became clear I was missing something obvious that I should have noticed right away. I just didn't have the right tools. I needed to build something that could apply the same force, on every press, over a long period of time.
From the garage, I was able to mount a 4 HP lawn mower engine to a 5k lb hydrolic actuator with a 6 inch travel distance and secure it horizontally in front of the tennis ball on my front door. This freed me up to gather more data than I was previously able to do.
The mower engine and the actuator did not seem very loud, but my neighbors apparently disagree. So at around 2:30 AM I was forced to end the testing prematurely. Involuntarily I might add. I only hope that the whole "Assaulting an Officer" thing won't taint the integrity of my methodology.
My conclusion, unfortunately, was a painful one to admit. After more than 16 hours of tennis ball depressions, 3 blisters, 6 gallons of gas, and a summons to appear in court, It was plainly obvious. The look on my girlfriend's face said it all....Without licensed tennis balls from an internationally accredited institution any of my findings would be suspect.
On the bright side, I do think this is more good news than bad. It means that I'm now justified in starting from the beginning. It also allows me to repeat the experiment, but improve the accuracy of tennis ball depressions, increase the sample size, and increase the diversity of sealant material. Further study would, of course, depend on the availability of funding. Any help this community could provide would be most appreciated.
Mon Oct 20, 2008 7:12 am 
