Hi Naljorpa
I know both problems.
I can’t offer any advice re: the wife.
I can offer some suggestions for the picks.
There is no reason why pick handles need to be thin except that you can fit more of them into a pouch/wallet. Since you won’t be carrying them around outside your home – I assume – there is no reason why you can’t thicken up the handles.
Perhaps the easiest way is to wrap electrical tape around the handles in bands. Make it as thick as you like. You can then put some heat shrink tube over that to give a nicer look and feel to the handle – or not –up to you.
If you want to get a bit more flash, you can epoxy wooden handles of any thickness you like. Even glue some pop sticks together then tape or heat shrink them.
The aim is to get a comfortable handle so that your hands don’t get sore. The old “Arthur ritis” is a bummer but there are things that can be done to make your tools more comfortable to use.
If possible, use a vice to hold the locks
I’m sure that you will come up with something so that you can indulge in your new passion without causing too much pain.
There are quite a few options. I'm sure other members will have some ideas.
Cheers.