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Gift for a nubee !

PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 4:41 pm
by nozza36
Hiya chaps , i want to give away a pocket set , recently finished it , only a couple of conditions .
1. Must not be a locksmith
2.Must post a picture of the set on arrival , as i'm tech retarded
3.Must post a damn good joke (the decider)
4.Two week run time until the 6th of November ish !
5.Open to any country i can post to !

Re: Gift for a nubee !

PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 4:54 pm
by selim
I'm not a registerd locksmith, can i get in - :razz:

Re: Gift for a nubee !

PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 4:58 pm
by macgng
selim wrote:I'm not a registerd locksmith, can i get in - :razz:


is that your joke? :D :P

Re: Gift for a nubee !

PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 5:09 pm
by nozza36
No problems with me !
The set is primarily made for Euro / Yale type locks , as some of the picks are rather slender it is not recommended that those are used on heavily sprung padlocks



:spinning:

Re: Gift for a nubee !

PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 7:30 pm
by Oldfast
Very kind of you nozza.
nozza36 wrote:2.Must post a picture of the set on arrival , as i'm tech retarded
3.Must post a damn good joke (the decider)

I look foward to seeing the jokes & the picks :D

Re: Gift for a nubee !

PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2011 8:31 pm
by nhoj_yelbom
Oldfast wrote:Very kind of you nozza.
nozza36 wrote:2.Must post a picture of the set on arrival , as i'm tech retarded
3.Must post a damn good joke (the decider)

I look foward to seeing the jokes & the picks :D


+1

Re: Gift for a nubee !

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 4:16 am
by selim
Ten years ago we had BoB Hope Jony Cash, and Steve Jobs.

Now we have no Cash, no Hpoe, and no Jobs. :smile:

That's my joke even though I told it on chat Sunday morning.

Re: Gift for a nubee !

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 4:17 am
by selim
must be to early Johny Cash

Re: Gift for a nubee !

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 4:20 am
by selim
cross me off the list, I can't even tell a joke the right way

Re: Gift for a nubee !

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 6:08 am
by xeo
Heres my joke:

US dollars come from a computer printer.

*drums* *kick-snare*


On a more serious note... my real joke is:

You know someone's teeth aren't totally fucked up unless their dental record can be found in a Medeco code book.

Re: Gift for a nubee !

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 6:16 am
by andrex66it
grumble..I can hardly tell a joke in italian,let alone in english,but i will do my best... just leave me some time to think of something... :???:

what about this:

"i'm so involved with lockpicking that my phone's pin is a serrated"

(don't flame me plz...)

Re: Gift for a nubee !

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 6:56 am
by darkhorse
stunning brunette......



A stunning young brunette walks up to a bar. She signals the barman to bring his face closer to hers. Running her fingers through his hair she says softly "Are you the manager?" "No" he replies. "Can you give him a message?" she asks, stroking his face and allowing her fingers to slip into his mouth so he can suck them gently and sliding them seductively across his teeth and round his tounge. "Tell him there's no ****ing toilet paper in the toilet

Re: Gift for a nubee !

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:24 pm
by mastersmith
Since I don't qualify I'll just keep the winning joke to myself!

Re: Gift for a nubee !

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:31 pm
by ImSchatten360
A woman walks into a fruit store and says: "I would like a banana.". The salesman says: "You should buy two so that you can eat one!"

Re: Gift for a nubee !

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:52 pm
by Steve
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"